Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity in Law
"Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen. Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage."
- Brené Brown
Embracing Vulnerability and Authenticity in the Legal Profession
In the fast-paced and often impersonal environment of the legal profession, vulnerability and authenticity can feel like foreign concepts. Lawyers are conditioned to put on a professional mask, suppress their true feelings, and always appear in control. This expectation of unwavering competence and control takes a significant toll on lawyers' personal and professional lives.
The consequences of not expressing vulnerability and being authentic are dire. Lawyers often lead increasingly isolated lives, afraid to appear weak or imperfect. This pursuit of perfectionism can lead to severe personal and professional repercussions, including workaholism, substance abuse, and mental health issues. The legal profession is notorious for its high rates of suicide and addiction. A national survey highlighted in the article "Stressed, Lonely, and Overcommitted: Predictors of Lawyer Suicide Risk" by Patrick Krill reports that 28% of lawyers suffer from depression, 19% experience anxiety, 21% have alcohol use problems, and 11% struggle with drug use. The suicide rate among lawyers is twice that of the general population, largely due to elevated levels of stress and loneliness, which are well-established predictors of suicide risk.
Lawyers are expected to work long hours, meet tight deadlines, and handle complex legal issues while maintaining high levels of professionalism and client satisfaction. This relentless pressure can lead to burnout and overwhelming feelings of stress. Balancing work and family responsibilities is a common stressor that further impacts mental health. The combination of loneliness, overcommitment, and work-family conflicts can be overwhelming for many lawyers.
However, a growing body of research and a shift in workplace cultures suggest that embracing vulnerability and showing up authentically can lead to more meaningful, productive, and fulfilling work experiences. This transformation requires a change in the legal profession's culture in order to have sustainable and meaningful change.
The Power of Vulnerability
Vulnerability is often misunderstood as a sign of weakness. In reality, it takes immense courage to be vulnerable. Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability, describes it as "uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure." In the workplace, this might look like admitting when you don’t have all the answers, asking for help, or sharing personal experiences that have shaped who you are. As lawyers, this is contrary to how we present at work.
Vulnerability is not a comfortable place for lawyers. We spend our time projecting a polished and competent persona for our clients, which can make it challenging to be perpetually "on." If all our conversations are transactional, it is easy to become robotic in our work lives. I discovered the power of showing up authentically when I hosted my podcast, "On Her Shoulders." On my podcast, I intentionally had authentic and vulnerable conversations with my guests about their careers and life challenges. Sometimes the stories brought tears or raucous laughter, and it was a joy to have authentic conversations. This experience made me realize how infrequent such conversations were in my work life and with my colleagues. An interesting side effect of the podcast, was that my clients told me how much they enjoyed learning more about me in the podcast episodes. They liked seeing the personal side of me and learning about my personal challenges and things that I had overcome. They told me they felt like they knew me better and liked what they heard.
While some lawyers might have work friends with whom they share intimate details of their lives, many lawyers keep their personal information private, focusing their energy on clients. We learn to compartmentalize our feelings and deal with them later. But what happens when we do that for decades? Compartmentalizing and turning off our authentic selves leads to a dull existence. This explains a lot about why law firm cultures can be toxic. Firms focus on productivity metrics like billable hours, new clients generated, and revenue. High levels of competition among colleagues, working in silos without collaboration, further isolate attorneys and do not create a supportive work environment.
There is not a lot of space for getting to know colleagues and talking frankly about our strengths and weaknesses in the law firm culture. However, when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we create an environment where others feel safe to do the same. This openness fosters deeper connections among team members, promotes trust, and can significantly enhance collaboration. Vulnerability can also lead to innovation. When team members feel safe to share their ideas, no matter how out-of-the-box, it can spark creativity and lead to groundbreaking solutions. This is one of the reasons that women’s programs are so important in law firms. Women lawyers appreciate and need to build collegial and trusting relationships with their peers in order to feel safe in being vulnerable. While it is not typical in law firms, most large employers have Employer Resource Groups (ERG) that create a safe and supportive space around a variety of work issues.
Making Law a Safe Space for Vulnerability
How do we make the legal profession a space where vulnerability is acceptable? It starts with a cultural shift that acknowledges the need for change.
1. Lead by Example
Leaders set the tone for workplace culture. When leaders are open about their vulnerabilities and show up authentically, they pave the way for others to do the same. By admitting their own mistakes and uncertainties, leaders can foster a culture of openness and trust.
2. Foster a Safe Environment
Create a culture where employees feel safe to express their true selves without fear of judgment or retribution. This can be achieved through regular team-building activities, open forums for discussion, and clear policies that support diversity and inclusion.
3. Practice Active Listening
Show genuine interest in your colleagues' ideas and experiences. This not only validates their feelings but also encourages them to be more open and honest. Active listening creates a supportive environment where everyone feels heard and valued.
4. Encourage Personal Development
Provide opportunities for employees to explore and develop their strengths and interests. This can be through mentorship programs, workshops, or flexible roles that allow for growth and self-discovery. Supporting personal development fosters a sense of fulfillment and engagement among employees.
5. Be Transparent
Share information openly and honestly. Transparency builds trust and shows that you value and respect your team members. When employees are kept in the loop, they feel more connected to the organization and its goals.
6. Celebrate Mistakes
Treat mistakes as learning opportunities rather than failures. When people aren’t afraid to fail, they are more likely to take risks and think creatively. This approach encourages innovation and continuous improvement. This is counterintuitive to training in law firms where mistakes often result in termination or demotion.
The Benefits of a Vulnerable and Authentic Workplace
Fostering vulnerability and authenticity in the workplace has profound benefits. Teams that embrace these principles often experience higher levels of trust, collaboration, and innovation. Employees are more likely to feel valued and satisfied in their roles, leading to better retention rates and overall job performance.
Moreover, companies that prioritize these values often find themselves with a more resilient and adaptable workforce. In a world where change is constant, the ability to adapt and grow through honest and open communication is invaluable.
Conclusion
Embracing vulnerability and authenticity in the legal profession is not just about creating a more pleasant work environment—it’s about building a foundation for true, sustainable success. By encouraging openness, fostering genuine connections, and promoting a culture where everyone feels safe to be their true selves, we can transform our workplaces into hubs of innovation, collaboration, and profound personal growth.
It is time for a cultural shift in the legal profession. Let’s start showing up as our true selves and watch the ripple effects of positive change unfold. By integrating these principles into the cultures of our workplaces, we can create a legal profession that supports the well-being and fulfillment of all its members.
